by Danielle Miller|September 15, 2017|To Wives
As a wife of four years—which I know isn’t long at all compared to some—and a mother of three children, the spark in my marriage isn’t as bright as when I was newly married. God knows I love my husband more now than when I married him, but let’s face it, I have learned the nasty side of him as well.
Besides the point, I do accept him with all of his flaws, I was driving one day when I got to thinking about the time my husband was doing yard work in the back of the house while the farmer in the field was plowing. The farmer accidentally bumped the corner post at the edge of our property, and looking out through the window above the sink, I saw the look on my husband’s face as he marched towards the tire at the edge of our property, and shivers instantly overtook me.
The expression on his face was that of ownership, one that was territorial of his property.
A queasy feeling overtook me at the thought, now months ago, and I made a lefthand turn onto the highway that would lead me into town.
Just thinking over the event sent chills down my spine.
My husband dressed in his work pants and steel-toe boots, getting all territorial over his property.
I am not shy to say that I was fantasizing about him all over again in that moment.
Over the course of the next few weeks, as the idea for this post began to develop, I’ve been thinking more and more about what I love about my husband…
What gets my insides all queasy when I think about them.
So maybe you’re like me and have been married for any number of years in which the new has worn off. Maybe you want the spark back that you once had with your husband.
I’m not saying there is any one formula, and I’m definitely not suggesting that my ideas are the answer, nor the only ones, I am only here simply suggesting that there are things about your husband worthy to fantasize over.
So is fantasy permitted within the context of marriage, you might ask?
Although the bible doesn’t say the word fantasy, it points to sex within a marriage, in which we are commanded to delight in one another.
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
Although this verse is speaking to husbands, I believe it is for the wife as well.
Let us rejoice in the husband of our youth. May we be intoxicated with his love.
Interestingly enough, another word for intoxicate is excite and another word for fantasize is to muse, imagine, daydream, or dream.
I am by no means a bible scholar, nor do I pretend to be one, but I believe we are called to fantasize about our marriages—to dream, daydream, and muse about them—to keep the excitement alive. To be as Proverbs says, intoxicated with love for our spouse.
I realize that no two wives are created equal, and what floats my boat might not float others. I can only speak from experience as I’ve lusted over my own husband, that doing so does add an additional spark that wasn’t there prior. We are what we think about, and I have learned to condition my mind to think about my husband.
Ladies, I’m not talking about the things that irk us to no end about our husbands…
I’m talking about the things that drive us crazy!
Below I have included 6 ways in which you can fantasize about your husband, all of which are examples from my own marriage, as I cannot glean from fantasizing about another man.
My hope and the intent of this post is to spark your curiosity and get you fantasizing about your own husband.
Think about your husband’s appearance and things you love
I love the way my husband looks before heading of to work in the morning wearing his wrangler jeans and steel toe boots. I could look at that butt all day!
I love his broad shoulders and even the dad bod that he claims is so unattractive.
I love the scruffy beird of his that makes him look like a mountain man and I love when he’s holding his coffee cup and lunch bag before heading off to work.
Think about the way your husband treats you
I love how my husband is so gentle with me but still the rough kind of man that I’m crazy about.
I love how he drops a kiss on the top of my head before heading off to work, and I love how he wants to stay home instead of go.
I love that he treats me like I need him (because I do!)
Think about how he provides for your family
I love to tell my three-year-old (when he’s overslept) when he asks where Daddy is that he is working.
I love how I can rely on him to take care of my every need and there is nothing he can’t do.
I love walking out to the shop and see him doing something that I never knew he could do.
I love how when he tells me everything is going to be ok, I believe him.
Think about the way your husband looks at you when you know he wants you
As busy moms, I get how sometimes being looked at, and where it will probably lead if we encourage it, can be downright exhausting. But I love when I know what my husband is thinking and how in that moment he has eyes for me and me alone.
Imagine how he looks when he’s kissing you
Think about how he plays with your children
I love watching my grown man of a husband play with our infant daughter and when he runs around the house on his knees because he is our older son and daughter’s horsy.
Think about how your husband needs you.
I love that I am commanded to love my husband and not withhold sex from him.
I love how he loves my cooking.
I love how he needs me to wash his laundry.
As time goes on, and the years pass by within a marriage, I am the first to admit that the butterfly-feeling can seem to disappear. But what I have proven to myself is that I can get it back by simply thinking about the things that I love about my husband. Whether you’ve been married for four years our forty-four years, our men are still worthy to be fantasized over by their wives
Go get him girl!
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth– for your love is more delightful than wine.
Song of Solomon 1:2
As always, you are a woman to be praised for all that you do, your price far above rubies!